True Friendship
(With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You'll see no cutesy little smiley faces here -- Just the stone cold truth of our friendship.

1 When you are sad
-- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue
-- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile
-- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared
-- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried
-- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused
-- I will use little words and speak slowly.

7. When you are sick
-- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall
-- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath.....
I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask ~ Because you are my friend.

Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

And remember....when life hands you Lemons, get some tequila and salt and call me!